Tales of Tattoos and Thongs
by HoratiosBabyMama
Summary: Looking for some holiday cheer? Spend some time with Chris and Scott, includes mistletoe, candy cane socks, fangirls and as mentioned in the title, tattoos and thongs. Slash.


Merry Christmas (or whatever form of celebration you choose) to all of you. Also I don't know a thing about Canada so please spare me if I do anything wrong.

Disclaimer: Still a no, I can't convince my parents to move to Canada and let me take over Teletoon©.

888

"_Don't you love me anymore Scott?" the sweet vision asked reaching out a hand to a frightened blond man. _

"_No, I never loved you!" the man yelled and the sweet vision looked shocked, black eyes filled with hurt before the expression turned angry._

"_Fine, then you'll never love again!" the vision pounced…_

And I woke up, a scream exploding in my head just before the evil gingerbread man was able to eat me.

Ugh, I hate gingerbread.

I quickly relaxed when I realized I was in my apartment and not a moldy gingerbread house and that the creature in the room with me was a sadistic hottie and not a fanged cookie.

I nestled down against my pillow of tender flesh, listening to the heartbeat of the padding, looking up into the resting face of my cushion. He looked so angelic when he was sleeping, what would his viewers think if they saw the host like this?

I swiped a wisp of hair out of his eyes and saw a small smile on his face, looks like he's having a good dream compared to my nightmare. Visions of sugarplums perhaps?

I giggled and looked up at the skylight above our bed, a light snow covering it and making the loft shady.

I loved Christmastime.

My family had always been majorly into the holidays. Our house had always been the most overly decorated on the street, the scariest on Halloween and the brightest on Christmas.

Me and my two sisters would cut hundreds of paper snowflakes and cover our rooms in them; we'd have the most fashionable snow woman in our yard (dressed in the latest trends of course), and our family would be in charge of caroling every year.

And my traditions followed me from my home in Quebec to Chris' loft in Alberta, which was proven by the garland wrapped around the railing and the tip of a pine tree barely visible over said railing with a sparkling star on top made especially by moi! Thank you, I know, I'm proud of me too.

Chris didn't care either way about the holidays except Halloween (more opportunities to scare people) and so, he let me decorate as much as I wanted only drawing the line at a dancing Santa I had wanted to put outside and compromising with mistletoe in every doorway, the horny bastard. Not that I minded though, mistletoe is a great tradition, Chris thinks so too, ah the R rated memories…

I smiled once more at my sleeping lover before attempting to get up to get some much needed coffee. Keyword, _attempted_, but steadfast arms tightened around my waist and I was stuck.

Most people wouldn't guess it because everyone thought I was the cuddly one in the relationship but that title really belonged to Chris, don't get me wrong, I do like cuddling but Chris was addicted to it although he'd never admit it.

I lightly tried to pry my lover's arms off me but it was like he was glued to me. I love this man but sometimes I swear…

"Chrissy," I whispered sweetly with only a hint of malice.

"You gotta let me go now; you do want food at some point right?" I asked and Chris' brow wrinkled but he remained asleep.

"Christopher, let me go," I said a little bit louder.

"Never," he mumbled, and people called him evil?

"I will resort to violence Chrissy," I cooed smiling and Chris blinked, finally waking up.

"What?" he yawned, blinking the sleep from his dark eyes.

"I want to get up but you won't let me," I giggled and Chris yawned again before smiling.

"Why would you wanna get up?" he moved one hand to splay across my heart.

"Coffee," I said simply and Chris nodded.

"But bed is so comfy," he argued and I sighed.

"I know, but I've been awake for awhile now and want to move," I stated not knowing what was coming.

"Oh, I can help you move without leaving the bed," Chris pressed closer to me and I felt something rub against my thigh and I had a feeling it wasn't a Yule log.

I smirked, "Coffee can wait I guess," I said before pulling Chris on top of me and kissing him.

-

An hour later, after a shower that seemed more dirty than cleansing, found me in the kitchen pouring coffee into two mugs with one hand and cooking scrambled eggs with the other.

I wished I could say passionate mornings like this were rare but I can't lie around Christmas.

I hummed along with the carols playing on the radio and added eggnog flavored creamer and some sugar to my coffee before sipping the heavenly liquid, Chris drank his black and never understood how I could stand such sweet coffee.

I smiled as I heard him come out of the bathroom upstairs and stumble down to the main floor of our loft. I set down my mug and turned off the stove, spinning around to watch as he crossed the sunken-in living room towards the kitchen.

He was wearing a blue hoodie and his typical green cargoes but it took all my willpower not to snort at the candy cane socks on his feet, seems like I was finally rubbing off on him.

My smirk deepened as I saw his eyes sweep over my tight jeans and pink and black striped off the shoulder sweater, his eyes filling with lust all over again. Horny bastard.

"Hungry?" I asked innocently, scooping the eggs onto plates already set with toast and jam.

Chris rolled his eyes at my innuendo and sat down.

"And way to hog the bathroom, I can't believe it takes you almost an hour to fix your hair!" I teased

"Did I tell you that I got a call from my manager last night?" he asked, ignoring my barbs, I sat down next to him and looked at him interestedly.

"Until the new Total Drama series is ready for filming, I'll be hosting some talent competition."

"That's great!" I smiled, "Do they need any cameramen or am I stuck filming that weird soap opera?"

Chris chuckled, "I'll see what I can do, we have a reputation remember?"

I giggled, every show that me and Chris had ever worked on together usually ended up with us getting caught being romantic in every available "private" place we could find, from closets to corridors to offices, boy had that producer been mad over that mess we left on his desk…

"Hey, I'm the one who behaves." I was professional during work, Chris was the one who had the tendency to drag me into closets.

"Yeah, but I'm not the one who gives in easily," Chris began eating and I pouted, I did _not_ give in easily, well, okay, at least I didn't until Chris came along. I ate my breakfast to stop the mushy thoughts.

"So what was it you wanted to do today?"

"Just walk around, maybe do some last minute shopping," I shrugged.

"Awesome," Chris said finishing off his plate.

He stood and took our dishes to the sink as I jumped up to get ready. I ran to get my wallet and stuffed it into my back pocket, I really should wear looser jeans. I grabbed my jacket, scarf and boots and went to sit on the couch, starting to put on one of my lambskin boots, I had a tender spot for soft things. Like velvet, fleece, stuffed animals, bubbles, Chris' lips. Yes, bubbles count as soft things.

I had just finished with my boots when Chris came up behind the couch and leaned down to kiss one of my bare shoulders.

"So when do I get my Christmas present?" he asked, kissing his way up to my neck.

"On Christmas like everyone else," I smirked as his chin hit my shoulder in disappointment.

"But why?" I could tell he wanted to whine like a kid but had more dignity than that.

"Don't you dare complain about it, remember what I got you for your birthday!" I smirked as if I could feel his mind switch over to thoughts about the pictures I gave him of myself in a certain animal outfit from a certain hunting challenge on a certain TV show.

"If you want future presents to be like that, don't beg for them early," I swatted his face off my shoulder so I could wrap my purple scarf around my neck.

Chris sighed and went to put on his gray wool coat and he called me the easy one.

I stood and slipped on my black jacket, zipping it as I walked over to Chris, kissing his cheek.

"Ready loverboy?" I asked happily and Chris stopped his pouting to smile.

"Yep, let the torture begin," I rolled my eyes, shopping was not that bad.

I grabbed his arm and walked out of the apartment, barely letting him lock the door in my urgency to get out into the winter wonderland.

I leaped down the stairs outside and twirled around in the light snowfall. Chris smiled and started walking towards the shopping district. I smiled and ran after him, looping arms with him and nuzzling my cold nose into his shoulder. Did I mention that snow makes me really childish?

-

I grinned at the decorated street, wreathes on doors, garland wrapped around streetlamps, Christmas lights sparkling in the afternoon sun that was peeking out from behind the thick clouds.

"Can we get some coffee? I'm freezing!" Chris asked, rubbing his hands together.

"You forgot gloves again didn't you?" I said knowingly and Chris avoided my gaze.

"No…"

"Fine, coffee it is," I smiled and Chris grinned at me, before leading me across the street where there conveniently was a Starbucks.

"Hot chocolate right?" Chris asked and I nodded giddily as he walked inside and I leaned against the wall to wait.

I started humming 'Let it snow' and watched the people who passed by. Everyone looked either really happy about the holidays like me or really stressed out. Didn't people realize that they should buy their presents in November not mere days before Christmas?

I rolled my eyes and fiddled with the rainbow flag stud in my ear and smiled at passerby.

"Hey there," I snapped out of my daze and looked to my left where a tall brunette was smiling down at me. He must be a sporty guy cuz he filled out his coat really well and he made a goatee look good even though I didn't like facial hair (Chris' stubble excluded of course)

"Hello," I smiled and the guy's smirk grew. Ooo, looks like I was getting a new play toy, or I could let him down easy…Nah.

"So why's a cutie like you out here all alone?"

"Waiting for my knight in shining armor," I bit my lip coyly and Tall Brunette leaned against the wall.

"I'm Tristan," he said, still smirking.

"Scott Bennet," I offered him a pink-gloved hand and he shook it gently, his eyes never leaving mine. Wow, this man really wanted him a piece of Scott pie! I giggled which only seemed to endear me more to Tristan, wonder what he would think of me once I pulled my usual boyfriend pranks on him. Chris dealt the pranks right back which proved he was a good match for me.

"Well, Scott Bennet, would you want to join me for some coffee?" he eyed the Starbucks we were leaning against and I smiled.

"Would whip cream and handcuffs be involved?" I asked and Tristan's eyes widened but he grinned.

"Only if you want cutie."

"Oh I want," I nodded leaning closer as I heard the door to the shop open behind me.

"Scott?" I turned my head to see Chris and I leaned against him, taking my hot chocolate from him with a smirk.

"Thanks babe," I chirped, kissing his cheek before risking a glance at Tristan who was watching me with surprise.

"Something wrong Tristan?" I asked, blinking innocently.

"Um, I thought…" his cockiness seemed to be gone.

"Thought what? That I was flirting with you? Oh no, I meant all those things for my boyfriend," I put my head on Chris' shoulder who instinctively put his arm around my waist.

Tristan spluttered and I shook my head.

"Thanks for entertaining me though, I'm glad you found me appealing," I said before walking away, taking a jealous boyfriend with me.

"That guy was flirting with you?" Chris seethed and I sipped my cocoa.

"Only a little bit."

"Are you gonna let me go so I can kill him?" I only tightened my grip around his waist.

"Nope, it's the holidays, you can't kill people, besides he didn't know I was taken."

Chris growled, taking a soothing sip of his coffee and rubbing his finger absently over my lower back where he knew a tattoo labeled 'Chris MacLean's property' lay inked forever into my skin.

"Now cheer up and remember who I live with," I said, not waiting to see if he was reassured as I pulled him into a gift shop.

My already happy mood soared as I realized it was a Christmas themed shop. I bit back my squeal of pleasure as I disappeared among the shelves of joy inducing gifts. I thought I heard Chris chuckle but I ignored it in favor of watching a moving Christmas village display.

-

I was wandering around the shop trying to find Chris, I wanted to show him a pair of boxers I found that said 'Stocking stuffers go here' on the back, it was just dirty enough to make him laugh.

I heard a familiar call of "Awesome" and followed it around the corner to spot Chris talking to two girls who appeared to be fangirls and asking Chris for his autograph. One of the girl's eyes was eating Chris alive, this wouldn't do at all.

I walked casually up behind them and put a hand on Chris' arm.

"Hey Chris, how do you think I would look in these?" I held up the boxers and Chris read them, chuckling. The girls looked at me and smiled, probably dumb enough to think that now there were two guys, one for each of them.

"Pretty sweet dude," Chris smirked and one of the girls leaned forward.

"So Mr. MacLean, when is your next show gonna be premiering?" she batted her eyes and I held back the urge to roll mine.

"After the holidays," Chris said and I smirked.

"Hey Chris, do you wanna know what else I found other than these boxers?" Chris' eyes were instantly on me.

"This really cute red velvet thong with white fluff trimming," I smiled, "And a Santa hat to go with it," I almost laughed as I saw Chris go to la-la land imagining me in this outfit. He grabbed my hips, "You're buying it right?" he asked and his fangirls gasped, I smirked evilly.

"I don't know, I mean, how good could I look in it really?" I shrugged as if it was no big deal and Chris seemed to melt at the images his mind must be creating. Horny Bastard.

His head fell against my shoulder in defeat, "Buy it."

I giggled, "Okay baby, if it makes you happy," I smiled at the fangirls and they quickly left, probably to cry their eyes out at the loss of two hotties to the gay side. Haha.

"Sorry about that Chrissy, but I had to get those girls away from you," Chris smirked but then reality sunk in.

"So there isn't any thong?"

"Nope sorry," I giggled and sauntered away to go put the boxers back on the rack, smirking as I grabbed the "nonexistent" thong and took it to the cash register.

I rolled up the small plastic bag and put it in my pocket before going back to Chris.

"So, where to next?" I smiled and Chris returned it, kissing me lightly.

"I have an idea," he laced his fingers with mine and walked back out into the cold.

"Where are we going baby?" I asked, my excitement building, rarely was Chris secretive, well, at least when it came to something important.

"Where would the surprise be if I told you?" he asked and I rolled my eyes, he always said that.

-

I stared in confusion at the building Chris pulled me into, a tattoo parlor? Chris pointed to the wall of selections.

"Pick one," I looked at him in surprise.

"For you?" he nodded, "But you said you'd never get a tattoo!"

"You got one for me and besides it's a special occasion," he smiled and I cocked my head to the side before my eyes widened.

"You remembered our anniversary!" I cried, flinging my arms around his neck.

"Three years," Chris said, "We met at a Christmas party."

I smiled, how could I forget?

-

_Cheesy carols played over the speakers as television stars and producers milled about the expansive room, chatting and sipping flutes of champagne._

"_Congratulations on your new gig Chris," a producer smiled at the newest host to join their company._

"_Thanks, I'm glad not to be on MTV anymore," Chris laughed and sipped at his cup of punch. He instantly choked and his eyes watered as he swallowed the burning liquid._

"_What's wrong Chris?" the producer asked as Chris panted, fanning his mouth._

"_That punch tastes like it's got hot sauce in it!" he grabbed the producer's champagne and downed it. The producer rolled his eyes._

"_That's probably the work of our resident sadist," he sighed and Chris forgot about his slightly burning throat._

"_Who?"_

"_Scott Bennet, one of our cameramen, we forgot to warn you about the punch, we avoid it now since last year he put laxatives in it, I guess this year was Tabasco."_

_Chris smirked, "He really did that?" _

"_He's infamous and he's done worse around here."_

_Chris laughed, "Where is he?"_

_The producer looked around, "There he is, over by the tree, the blond."_

_Chris searched through the crowd and found the man who had scalded his taste buds. _

_He took in the blond hair that covered the left side of his face like a curtain and the white turtleneck and rainbow scarf. Hmm, cute._

_He gave a distracted wave to the producer and walked towards the tree and the blond who was laughing at some joke a friend told him._

"_Excuse me," Chris said as he came up to the group, Scott looked over at him, his visible eye narrowing._

"_I have a complaint about the punch, it was too weak, didn't have enough kick to it," he shrugged and Scott's eye widened._

"_Ah well I'm sorry it disappointed you," he smirked, "Don't I recognize you from somewhere sir?" _

"_Yes, I'm-" Chris began but Scott interrupted him._

"_Oh I know! Aren't you Ryan Seacrest's most recent boytoy?" Chris' mouth fell open._

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Scott, don't be mean! This is Mr. MacLean, he's one of our new hosts," Scott's friend explained, sipping her champagne, Scott smiled._

"_Nice to meet you Mr. MacLean," Scott smirked, giving a small bow._

"_I wish I could return the sentiment Mr. Bennet," Chris chuckled as Scott paled._

"_How's your throat?" Scott asked and Chris glared._

"_You hot little-"_

"_Why I do declare, Chris MacLean thinks I'm hot!" Scott smirked and Chris blushed._

"_Can you deny you think the same of me?" Chris asked, crossing his arms and Scott tried to say yes but paused._

"_Seems we've reached a stalemate Mr. Boytoy," he looked away to avoid blushing and Chris smiled._

"_Good, cuz I'd much rather be friends than enemies with a prankster such as you."_

"_No doubt," Scott laughed._

_They had parted ways but soon found themselves to be in the same group as three other girls, talking about upcoming shows. Chris watched Scott over the rim of his flute, liking the way the man laughed, Scott giving him heated glances every so often also._

"_If you ask me, I think some of the idiots they hired for the cast will never make it past the first season," Scott said absently about some show he was cameraman for, trying to keep his mind off Chris but their eyes met again and Chris couldn't take it._

"_Go out with me?" he asked, halting any response the group had to Scott's comment._

"_I'd be stupid not to wouldn't I?" Scott shrugged and Chris smirked._

"_Most definitely."_

_-_

"You cut your hair since then, I'm glad, the curtain look wasn't good for you," Chris said, running his hand over my spiky pixie cut. I laughed.

"Well, you had a mullet!"

"I did not, it was just an unfortunate stage in the growing process!" Chris argued and I smiled.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night Mr. Boytoy," I said, giving his lips a quick peck and looking over his shoulder.

"How about a tiger?" I asked and Chris rolled his eyes.

"No."

"Okay," I let go of him and went to stand in front of the selections, rubbing my chin in thought.

"I'm guessing a flower or skull is out of the question?" Chris' glare was all the answer I needed.

"You don't happen to have a picture of any of the campers on you do you?" I smirked as Chris visibly shuddered.

"Be serious."

"I am! A tattoo of Duncan or Heather on your back would be totally kickass!" Chris shook his head, knowing I was teasing him. Too easy.

"Okay, how about that one?" I pointed and Chris looked at it warily before seeing that it wasn't bad like my previous choices.

"Sure, that's great babe," he smiled and went up to the burly tattoo artist.

-

"I'm so proud of you!" I exclaimed as we sat at a table in a café across the street from the tattoo parlor. "You only cried once!"

Chris smirked, "If I remember correctly, you bawled the entire time you got your tattoo."

I glared and shook away my angry thoughts, "Let me see it again," I asked holding out my hand, Chris rolled up his sleeve and displayed the new addition to his anatomy.

A heart was spread across his bicep, rainbow ribbon wrapping around it with 'Belongs to Scott Bennet' written in silver.

"You're awesome Christopher," I smiled and leaned over the table to kiss him. He smirked and deepened the kiss.

"I know," he mumbled against my lips, nibbling them before pulling back.

"So how about we go back to our apartment and not leave till New Years?" he smirked lovingly and I almost melted but the urge to smirk overrode any romantic thoughts.

"I wish we could Chrissy, but we have to go home and pack," Velvet thong $20, Tattoo $30, Chris' confused face priceless.

"Pack for what?"

"You remember our anniversary for the first time ever but manage to forget that we're visiting my parents this year?" I smiled and waited as Chris processed this and then fell on the tabletop.

"But your mom hates me!" he moaned against the wood of the counter.

"She does not, she hates all my boyfriends no matter who they are. You're doomed to never be good enough for me in her eyes," I smiled, my mom was amazing. But she was starting to accept Chris, none of my other boyfriends had lasted longer than a few months so I think she knew Chris was here to stay.

"Do I have to go?"

"Yes, my sisters miss you and my dad wants to try out some of his ideas for Total Drama on you. Come on Chris, you weren't able to go last year and my mom is making pumpkin cookies especially for you!" I pouted and batted my eyelashes adorably. Chris crossed his arms and tried to look tough but I knew he was slipping.

"Alright but only for the cookies," he said and I grinned.

"I love you too," I kissed his cheek and stood, putting on my coat.

"Come on, we've got packing to do," I patted the pocket that held my earlier purchase, planning on packing that in Chris' suitcase as an early surprise.

"You're sisters won't try to threaten me again will they?" Chris asked as we walked out of the café, his arm going around my waist.

"Nah. They only do that to newbies, you've passed their tests now you just get to look forward to their typical pranks," I smirked, burrowing against him.

"Your family is weird."

"Great isn't it?" we laughed and Chris kissed me.

_I don't want a lot for Christmas, make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you._

888

Finite and Happy Holidays to you all. I'm so dedicated to you readers, I've been working on this for the past 6 hours or more and typed twice as many pages than I normally do. I hope you enjoyed this and please reward/thank me with a review and for you artists out there, draw me some fanart as a present (she hinted so subtly)

Thank you my lovelies now I'm going to go before my fingers fall off.

Happy Holidays.


End file.
